Mental Health

3 Tips to Change Your Perspective and Become Your Best Self

Perspective is everything. Our perspectives shape the decisions we make and can even influence how we show up in the world. However, we have the power to change our perspective by changing our position. How? I’m so glad you asked!

Where You Stand (Position) Determines What You See (Perspective)

Let’s break it down from a physical standpoint. When we talk about our physical position, we’re talking about where we’re located or placed. When we talk about our physical perspective, we’re talking about the angle or direction in which we look at something. These two things go hand in hand, and the latter is dictated by the former. A perfect example of this is something I stated in an Instagram post from earlier this week.

Have you ever been with someone who tried to point something out to you, but you couldn’t see it? Then, once they told you to shift over a little bit, all of a sudden you could clearly see what they had been pointing at? That slight, physical adjustment made the difference between seeing and not seeing. Change your position and you’ll change your perspective. Would you believe me if I told you that the same rule applies when it comes to our mental position and perspective? It’s true!

Change your position and you’ll change your perspective.

Coach Jo

Mental Position & Perspective Defined

Mentally, our position is our stance or attitude towards a particular matter, and our perspective is how we view it. For example, if you believe that toys corrupt children’s minds (position/stance), then from your perspective, you may feel that toy stores are evil. That perspective will then influence your actions. You won’t visit toy stores, purchase toys for your kids, or even accept toys as gifts from others.

So, I can hear you asking, “WHAT does this have to do with health and wellness?” Again, I am SO glad you asked! When it comes to your health and wellness, your actions are influenced by your perspective, which is dictated by your position. To make it all make sense, let’s look at these two scenarios.

Change Your Position, Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life

Scenario 1

Position: For so long, you’ve lived a life of service. You have been everything to everybody. Your family and friends know that if they ever need something, they can call on you and you’ll be there. While there’s nothing wrong with serving others, your stance has been that you’re going to do whatever you need to do to help other people, even if it means neglecting yourself. 

Perspective: Because your position has been to put other people and things above yourself, your perspective on taking time to yourself, for yourself or saying no to someone else to fulfill your own needs is that it’s selfish. You may even go as far as to think it’s an excuse to be lazy. 

Actions: You take every opportunity you can to help someone else. You never say no when someone asks you for assistance, even if it is an inconvenience for you. You also don’t take time to intentionally relax and replenish yourself which leads you to the point of anxiety, exhaustion, and eventually burnout.

Now, let’s change the position a little and see how this next scenario plays out.

Scenario 2

Position: You’ve lived a life of service and everyone knows they can count on you just the same. However, your stance has been to do whatever you can for others, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your personal time or leave you feeling depleted. You will only drop what YOU have going on or change YOUR plans in emergency situations. Period!

Perspective: Because your position is to make sure you’re good before giving to others, your perspective is that taking time to yourself, for yourself or saying no to someone is a form of self-preservation and self-love. You now recognize that if you do not prioritize your own physical and mental health, you won’t be ANY good to ANYbody in ANY way!

Actions: You pay attention and listen to your body. When needed, you stop and do what you need to do to ensure you are physically and mentally well. You use the word “no” when you need to and understand that it does not make you a bad person. You feel empowered because YOU are in control of YOUR life.

I Want To Change! Now What?

I’m sure everyone would love to live the life that played out in Scenario 2, but for some, you have no idea where you start. Here are 4 ways that you can begin to change your position, perspective, and live.

1. Disconnect From Negativity

It takes no God to be negative. I’m going to say that again. It take NO God…to be negative. As humans, it is often much easier for us to focus on the negative than it is to search for and point out the positive. And if our emotions are involved, logic usually loses out, sending is into a downward spiral of negative thoughts. If you spend a lot of time around negative people, it’s going to be dang near impossible for you to stay clear of those negative thoughts.

Along with negative people, you also have to rid your life of any negative content you may be consuming. These are the things that slide in undetected and program our minds to gravitate towards those negative thoughts.

2. Change Your Emotional & Mental Diet

How you feed yourself physically will manifest itself physically. The same is to be said for your mental and emotional state. In order to change your perspective, you have to change what you’re feeding yourself emotionally and mentally. Find positive, self-help books, devotionals and podcasts. Search for inspirational social media pages to follow. You can even look for empowering blogs written by women ministers for the purposes of motivating and encouraging (shameless plug). Also, employ yourself as a resource for positivity. Tap into affirmations, scriptures, and pay close attention to your negative self-talk.

3. Always Look For The Win

Every trial or adversity that we face is attached to a bigger and better purpose. It’s the silver lining in every cloud, the sunshine after the rain, and the light at the end of the tunnel. It may not always be blatantly obvious what it is, but “the bright side” will always be present. Sometimes, you just have to take the time to look for it. Roman 8:28 reads, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” The keyword here is ALL. That means the good, the bad, and the ugly. God uses all of it and works it out for our good, to help us grow, increase our faith, and make us stronger and wiser.

There’s Power In Perspective. Take Your Power Back!

If you haven’t felt genuine joy, peace, or happiness in a while, it’s probably due to your perspective. While happiness is an external job affected by what goes on around us, joy and peace are both internal jobs. Both external and internal factors influence our perspective on life and ourselves. Today is the day for you to take inventory of the things going on around you and flowing into your mind. Anything that does not edify you or cultivate a positive perspective needs to go. The time is now for you to do something different to experience the life you deserve. Take your power back, Sis!

Yours In Power & Love,

Coach Jo

fitness, Healthy Living, Mental Health

3 Mental Roadblocks to a Healthier You and How to Overcome Them

Fitness. It’s one of those things where either you love it or you hate it. Quite honestly, most people either hate it or have a love-hate relationship with it. Very few people actually love the thought of working out. But why is that? Why do we have such a disdain for something that has the power to change our lives for the better? Well, I can think of a few reasons. More than likely, you are suffering from a mental roadblock or two that keeps getting in your way.

Mental Roadblock #1: Defeatist Attitude

Example: “There’s no way I’m going to be able to reach my goal!” This mental roadblock is the one that causes you to give up before you even try. Maybe it’s been months or even years since you’ve worked out or attempted to eat healthy. The mere thought of making a change seems overwhelming. Instead of anticipating the best, you’re expecting the worst. Trust me, you are not alone. So often, we miss out on potential blessings because of our own beliefs. We believe we won’t be able to reach our fitness goals. Defeatist attitude. We believe that if we do try to pursue a life of fitness, we will end up failing. Defeatist attitude. We believe it will be too hard (and we haven’t even tried). Defeatist attitude. These are all beliefs that are set up to keep us from becoming our best selves.

How to Overcome a Defeatist attitude

One great way to overcome a defeatist attitude is through daily affirmations. This is something that we at MommiNation encourage and believe in, and our good sis Destiny Aja keeps them coming for us! If you participated in the Mommi 2.0 Challenge or the Fit Mommi Challenge that ended today, you know what I’m talking about. The affirmations Destiny provides add a layer of motivation, comfort, and ignite a fire of determination in us. Did you know that daily affirmations have been PROVEN to motivate and boost confidence? According to an article from The Intuitive Phoenix Blog, they even improve your quality of life and lead to better health. So, start talking to yourself, Sis!

Mental Roadblock #2: Pessimism

Example: “This is not going to end well!” This mental roadblock usually pops up in the beginning of your fitness journey, and sometimes it happens mid-workout. Pessimism is “a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen; a lack of hope or confidence in the future.” Now THAT is deep! A lack of hope or confidence in the future. Not to take it to church on y’all, but that sounds like the absence of faith to me. (insert big eye balls) Listen, the mind is a powerful thing, and if you believe that the worst will happen, it probably will. What the heck, let’s go to church!

How to Overcome Pessimism

Phillipians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” You have to take inventory of your thoughts, and any thought that does not align with this passage needs to be evicted. Period. Start replacing the negativity in your surroundings and in your life. Be intentional about finding the good in every situation. For more tips on how to how to stop being pessimistic, click here.

Mental Roadblock #3: Unrealistic Expectations

Example: “I’m not seeing any change!” This mental roadblock will have you thinking all kinds of backwards. Let’s just cut to the chase. Rome was NOT built in a day, Sis! What makes you think your dream body will be? The most effective health and fitness habits and routines are set up to yield long-term success, not instant gratification. Another example of this is dieting. Some of us end up frustrated with ourselves because we keep “failing” at our diet. But what does that diet consist of? One meal a day? This is something I’ve had to embrace for myself, at a deeper level. I’ve done the keto diet a couple of times. I have fun when I’m keto because I get to try new recipes that I normally wouldn’t cook. I also have an opportunity to get creative with desserts. However, I’ve realized that as a foodie, completely depriving myself of foods that I love does not work for me. I only end up indulging in the long run and falling completely off the wagon. So, I had to go back to the drawing board and set realistic expectations for myself.

How to Overcome Unrealistic Expectations

The first key to overcoming unrealistic expectations and creating realistic expectations for yourself is to know yourself. This requires a level or honesty, self-reflection, and vulnerability with the (wo)man in the mirror. What are your strengths and your weaknesses? What are you natural abilities. These are all things you should know about yourself. Then, you can set realistic expectations based on truth. Once you know yourself, you’ve got to stop comparing yourself to other people. God created YOU to be YOU, and there ain’t another person on this earth who brings to the table what you bring.

OK, follow me. We all make up one body, the body of Christ. We each play a key role in making that body function properly. If you are supposed to be a foot, but you want to be a nose like Keisha, we’re gonna end up with two noses. Oh, we’ll be able to smell things from a mile away, but it’s gonna take us longer to get to the thing we smell because you (the foot) decided you didn’t want to play your position. In the words of Jonathan McReynolds, comparison kills! So don’t do it. Be you and walk in who God has created you to be with your head held high! If you need help to stop expecting too much of yourself, click here.

I Get It, and I Got You!

I really hope this blog is helpful because I know these mental roadblocks are real, and they rob us of our best lives every day. I encourage you to make a choice today to push past those roadblocks, kick them DOWN!!! And push forward to a better future, a better life, and a better you. So, who’s ready to break down these mental road blocks??? We can do this thing together. It’s time to go after the life of health and fitness that you deserve! If you REALLY want to go deep, join my JumpFit Fam. All you have to do is register for a class, and you will automatically be welcomed into a group of amazing women who motivate and encourage one another. I hope to see you soon!

Yours in Fitness,

Lady Grace

All About Lady Grace

Who is Lady Grace?

Hey, Family! It’s me, Joanna Coatney, also known as Lady Grace. I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to my blog! In this brief blog post, I want to take the time introduce myself to some and further explain who I am to others.

Who Am I?

Me and my little family!

I am a child of God above all things. My relationship with God and commitment to follow Christ is the driving force in my life. I strive to bring light into this dark world in any way I can, and I use my gifts, talents, and my business as a way to show love to those who enter into my world.

I am a wife, happily married to one of the most amazing men in the entire world, Vecente Coatney, II. While marriage is not easy (I don’t care how Instagram makes it look), it is the craziest rollercoaster that I would never want to get off of. When you find the right person who cherishes you, honors you, and loves you like Christ loves the church, it makes the rough patches worth fighting through.

I am a mother to one amazingly energetic toddler whom we call Third. I could not imagine my life without our son. He brings so much joy into our lives. He is the kindest, sweetest little boy I could’ve ever prayed for, and I am forever grateful to be his Mommy. I strive every day to make him happy and create a life where he can flourish and grow into everything God is calling him to be.

What Do I Do?

My time as a truancy officer in Manor ISD

I have been in education for 11 years, and am now transitioning into full-time entrepreneurship. That’s right! As of February 5th, I will be saying goodbye to my current job and embarking on a whole new adventure. I’m choosing to take a leap of faith into uncharted territory. Why? Because working hard every day to build someone else’s business while feeling stressed, drained, and unfulfilled is no longer appealing to me. If I’m going to be drained and stressed, I want it to be over something that also brings me joy and rejuvenation. Something that I’m passionate about. My passion for education has fizzled out, and that’s OK! It just means that God is preparing me for something different. Something greater!

I’m a fitness instructor and newly Certified Personal Fitness Instructor. I have always been an athlete since elementary school, participating in team sports such as basketball, softball, and track and field. Team sports and group workouts give me so much energy! Which is part of the reason why I created JumpFit and launched the first class on November 28, 2020. JumpFit is my jump rope fitness class, MY baby, and I’m extremely passionate about it.

I am a blogger and social media influencer. My platform focuses on my 5 F’s (Faith, Family, Fitness, Food, and Fun) and how I’m “Learning to Balance it All.” As a foodie, I love most foods that conflict with my healthy lifestyle! (insert eye rolling emoji) However, I have been on a mission to find a healthy balance that will allow me to continue to prioritize my healthy and fitness while also creating space to enjoy life and all of the amazing foods if has to offer. Balance is attainable when it comes to your eating habits, and I think I’ve finally found what works for me.

What You Can Expect From Me

As you join me on this journey, you can expect to see an array of blogs that will fall under the umbrella of my 5 F’s. In those blogs, you can expect to receive helpful resources, encouragement, empowerment, transparency, and lots of laughs! Through my blog, I hope to connect with and support women who are wanting to live their best life as their best self in the midst of trying to balance everything that comes with life. My prayer is that I can help you learn to balance it all without having to neglect YOU.

Let’s Do This!

If you’re ready to go on this journey with me and would like to receive important updates via email, click here to subscribe to my mailing list! I promise you won’t receive a plethora of annoying emails from me (nobody likes those). But you WILL be the first to know when I post a new blog or share dope information and updates about what’s new with Lady Grace!

Thank you so much for rocking with me, and stay tuned for my new blog dropping later this week!